Hold up There Skippy!

Hold Up There Skippy!

Several years ago, my daughter’s boyfriend approached me to ask my permission to marry my daughter. I said “no.”

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

I explained to him that if he intended to marry my daughter then he needed to understand that from this day forward it would never ever be about “him” again. In the years I had known him I had only witnessed that it was always about “him.” I told him I would be glad to mentor him for the next year to help him understand sacrificial love and then he could ask me again. He did not take me up on my offer and they did not marry. Selfishness is part of our human sinful nature. Sometimes it comes across as harsh and controlling while other times its wrapped up in a pretty sweet smelling package. Getting married will not fix this selfish nature just because you “love” this person and make a promise to the pastor and the witnesses. If you are a female considering marrying a man who has only demonstrated selfish love, no matter how sweet he packages it, walk away. You cannot fix him and getting married will only exacerbate this selfishness. The only cure for this terminal condition comes through an intimate relationship with Christ and submitting and participating in the process of sanctification. The sanctification process promotes a decrease in self-reliance and an increase in God-reliance. It is also the process of setting us aside for a holy purpose. There is probably nothing more holy than to love someone as Christ loves you. Men, it is unnatural to love our wife as Christ loves His bride the church. It is only through the work of the Holy Spirit, accountability and support that we can learn to practice and demonstrate His love. Remember men, if you are married or plan to marry, it will never ever be about you again. It will, however, always be about Christ.   

If you are interested in strengthening and healing your relationships with God and others, check out our free Foundations of Faith: Building God- Centered Relationships course.

Jonathan Jones, President and Founder of Perfect Hope Ministry

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